I Am Confused? No,Not Really,I Just Need Reassurances.

Hello People!
How’s your weekend going?
Hope you’ve been having a blast like me? Or you’ve been having the rest that’s been eluding me?
Either ways,thank God for weekends!
I did promise to do a post on relationships and the post has been dragging on for over two weeks now.
I have Agaba’s Criminal Litigation textbook to get to but I am doing this right now and putting an end to writing this post only in my head.

I know you are wondering about my title yeah?
Stay with me for a while and it will all be clear to you.Err,this post may (or may not)be long but it’ll be worth it so please just go with the flow…
I had a conversation with someone the other day. The subject matter was on what kind of man ladies should accept.
Of course I made my standpoint clear;godly,have a vision,hardworking,not a womanizer,not an alcoholic..etc.
The other person was of the view that, that kind of man does not exist.
According to him,we should accept the one we have and he will change someday,as every man has that turning point in his life when he changes.
In other words,if your man cheats on you in your relationship now,marry him like that because one day,he will certainly have that spark in his head and he will change.
Hmmmmm.I just made my stand clear that I am not the Holy Spirit and I’d rather have night vigils for my Husband and kids to grow and increase than to pray for my man to stop cheating on me,and that ended that.

But I tossed and turned on my bed when I got to my room.
I wondered and thought a lot.
Was I setting myself up for a fall?
I mean,I know what the Bible says,that God’s gifts are perfect and added no sorrow but can I really get that kind of gift?
Can I really get the kind of man that people testify that God grants them?
This person also said that “we dey watch,na cuz I young na make me dey talk like this”
So I wondered all the more,what if they have the last laugh at the end of it all?
What if I end up taking and accepting just anyone that comes along?

I wasn’t confused,I know what the Word says,but all the same,something kept niggling at the back of my mind.
And so,I decided to seek reassurances from Ladies that I knew had the kind of marital testimony that I wanted God to grant to me.
From here on out will be “inthe”,an amazing virtous woman and Pastor Mildred from David’s Christian Centre(DCC) in Lagos,perspective(s) on this issue.
Both are lovely,great women that I admire and that I knew would speak the truth as it is to me.
They both said something very vital before saying anything to me…

What/who you are listening to is very important.
The truth is the truth,Period.
It is forever settled in heaven,But the choice to live in that truth is ours.
So whose truth are you listening to?
The World,or the Word?

I decided to share this because I think that I am not alone,this maybe needed by a lot of people and I am praying it blesses you like it did me.
This is for all the Ladies and Men(replace gender where applicable) that have ever tossed and turned and wondered whether you should accept just anyone that comes as I have…

Here goes…

“Inthe”-;
“What you are asking me is deeper than it appears. You are essentially asking if you can trust God and His promises.
Someone is telling you that trusting God for a good man, essentially what God has already promised you is too much…
Asking God for a man after his heart, who won’t hit you or gamble your kids school fees away or cheat on you is “too much”?
Sis, the truth has been gifted to you. Dont let anyone steal it!
You are basically saying you want to marry a real christian and they are telling you he doesn’t exist.
Dont believe it for a second”

And Pastor M said-;
” Don’t allow the world to negotiate
down on your dreams.
If you want a great marriage then you deserve it.
DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS.
I don’t think your standards are too high. You are asking for the basics and any self respecting daughter of the most high
God should not accept any less.”

Now,incase you are thinking that both Women don’t know what they are talking about,they are both Married,happily and extra-happily happy,with homes that I sincerely feel that God himself is in charge of.
Like “inthe” said,everything you are asking for,to the glory of God,I have in my husband…
You see that?
Right there!
We are not just standing on mere Words,can you see the words alive in the lives of others???

Now that we’ve established that men like that exist,the question now like “inthe” said is;-
“do you trust God enough for it?
Will you wait for it?
Will you refuse to settle for nonsense and little boys parading as men??”
Will you?
If you do,it is assured,even as they watch,you will be a testimony!
The reassurance I sought had been gotten at this point!
I cannot marry like everybody,my own like “inthe” and Pastor M’s Marriage will stand out!

I hope your tossing and turning ends today like mine has too.
Surround yourself with people of truth,Look for couples that have what you want and learn from them.
Let no one sway you~”inthe”.
Remember,as long as you are not going overboard with the demands(we know the unreasonable ones,I won’t expantiate on them here),then you are not asking for too much.
You are asking for the basics and ANY SELF-RESPECTING DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH GOD SHOULD NOT ACCEPT ANY LESS!
Yes,even you!

And I am leaving you with what Pastor M left with me;
“DON’T WORRY, IF YOU DARE TO DREAM IT,GOD WILL BRING IT.”(Eph 3:20)

PS: “inthe” blogs at; http://www.inthemidstofher.com

And Pastor M blogs at http://www.justusgirlsnaija.wordpress.com

Now,if you really want to get a taste of the kinda home you can’t afford to miss out on by settling for less,then check out those sites.
Every virtuous/aspiring virtous Lady should get a dose of what “inthe” and Pastor M dishes out.
Infact,every self-respecting daughter of the most high God should check out those sites,you’ll be blessed.

With Love,till my next post…
Frances.

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4 comments on “I Am Confused? No,Not Really,I Just Need Reassurances.

  1. Wow! Great post!!!Praise God. I’m flattered and can say I am more than happily married to a true man of God ( plus he’s Hawt! LOL)! but it wasn’t easy. I had to relinquish my own notions and trust the word of God. I encourage single ladies not to give up or settle for earthly stereotypes of what a man is. Also deep calleth unto deep! Ask yourself, would a true man want you? You need to make yourself the kind of woman a true man would want.

    Like

    • Thanks inthe.
      “Deep calleth unto deep” same words that were said in the singles brkfast seminar I attended today.indeed what you are,you attract.
      And hmm,my own go hawt pass ur own ooo!lol.
      Thanks again!
      And don’t be flattered o,God is using u to bless us and all I can say is God bless u more and more.thank u

      Like

  2. thanks a lot for this post! I guess God wanted me to read this, and that’s why I stumbled on your blog today. I’ve been having these ‘struggles’ too, and have had several men & ladies tell me my expectations are unrealistic. Just yesterday a married christian brother, who was supposed to be ‘advising’ me about this issue started making advances. Said I’m putting him off because I’m holding on to childish ideas about marriage. This morning I decided to just forget about marriage for a while, cos I was almost convinced the kind of man I want doesn’t exist. well, I’m encouraged by the fact that I’m not the only one waiting on God for such a man.

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    • Wow! Ese,I am so glad u were encouraged by this.
      The truth is,u r not alone,its not easy but stand firm on the word and not on what the world says.the word is ever true and always works.From the real examples I sited,u’ll see that ur “childish expectations” are not childish at all.they are some1 else’s reality,so why on earth can’t it be ur own reality too?
      Don’t worry at all dear,if u dare to believe it,God will bring it.*hugs*

      Like

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