Dear Men…

Dear Men,
I hope you are all doing fine and you’ve had a superb day?
I had to send this message across to you and I could not think of a better medium to do this than on my blog.

Two of your kind told me something today that had me boiling in my shoes,but after careful consideration of the facts,I decided to write this letter with as much tact as I can muster and not rant like I was tempted to do.

One of the men said that,a woman doesn’t really need the internet,as she has NOTHING she would use it for.
He went ahead to saythat her subscription will not even be exhausted as she won’t do anything worthwhile with it.
He didn’t end there.
He went further to say that women have nothing good to offer and he doesn’t even listen to songs sung by females as VERY FEW have anything good to offer and the rest are RUBBISH.
I could have laughed at his statement (maybe it was intended as a joke) but I didn’t as it carried undertones that had me shedding tears within me.

It connoted the fact that at this 21st century,we still have so-called modern men that look down their noses on females.
It translated into the fact that we still have men that think women are generally dunces with nothing good to offer.
And I wasn’t just angry,I was disappointed.

Another man said to me at almost the same time,that a woman doesn’t have a tribe until she is married.

I wonder which is worse between this statement and the other one.

You may be wondering why I was mad at these statements?
Well,I can’t help it,I am a woman and anything that detracts from the worth of a woman,I abhor.

Was he saying that I have no identity right now till I get married to a man?
Yes,I know that the man is the head and after marriage,he becomes one with his wife,she takes his family as hers et al,but was he saying that he will see his wife as being an empty vessel with no tribe till he comes in to fill her and give her a place of origin?
Am I allowed to translate his statement to mean every female should not even bother with reveling in their individuality and the little things like where they come from shouldn’t matter till they get married?

I know that we have powerful women who are executives in the corporate world.
We have women who are business moguls,we have female entrepreneurs,we have females in the blogosphere who are doing really well.
We have females who are SAN(S),we have female Judges,we have female entertainers et al and yes,I know that they use the internet as they have businesses and deals they can’t transact without the e-world.
I will mention no names because with a click on google,anyone can see the plethora of Female achievers in the world and I am very certain that,that man knows this too,so why was he still so fast to say that women have nothing good to offer?

I am not sad that he said that women have nothing good to offer because the facts all around speak for themselves.
I am just disappointed that at this time,just when I thought that the world has evolved,a young man still thinks that women are nothing.
That a woman has no identity,or that at least,she has none without a man.

Our Fathers,why do we still have men that think this way? How did you raise them? What were you telling them? What actions were you showing to them?

For the men that have left this archaic way of reasoning behind,why are your friends still this way?
What are you doing to sensitize them that the world have moved past this notion of women being substandard human beings?

To you who still think this way,do you realize that you were born by a woman? That you have sisters?
That you have a wife/ you will have a wife?
Is that the way you see them?
As people that have nothing good to offer?

A woman is one of God’s perfect creations,full of strength and wealth of knowledge.
She can deal with stress when she feels like crying.
She smiles when she feels like screaming.
Her love is unconditional and she spurs you(men) to be the best.
She even gave birth to you!
How can you say that one with such attributes is a substandard human being?

I apologize if you met wrong women in the past (we’ve been burnt by wrong men too).
But I know that you know men that seem as though they have nothing good to offer but that doesn’t detract from the fact that there are other men changing the world for good.
So also are there women touching the lives around them positively.
A woman can and are adding tangible assets to the World around them.
Women are good,kind,lovely,driven and motivated to do the best they can do.
Women have offered a lot to the world and still have more to offer.

Please change your mind set.
The world has moved past that archaic,outrageous way of thinking and I suggest you do too.

I hope that you understand that I write this from a place of Love for you.
The world will be a better place without the sexism from men and with the recognition that just as men have a lot to offer to the world,women do too.

Yours Faithfully,
Frances.

P.S- Please,Watch out for my “Dear Henry” post tomorrow,you don’t want to miss it at all,at all.
And yes,this weekend’s posts is dedicated to the Men 😀

TGIF!
Have an amazing weekend everyone!

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12 comments on “Dear Men…

  1. Spot on Frances!
    Absolutely forthright and clear.Here’s hoping the world will be rid of such infuriating chauvinists and blessed with confident, wholesome men who not only respect the ineffable treasures women really are to the world, but also place a priceless premium on them.
    Amen!
    And yes, you did express tact rather than vent like I would have done..lol
    Good thing you put your displeasure to constructive use.
    May we do right by God.

    Like

  2. Ah Lizzie,Amen and Amen!
    And it was hard to express tact in the face of this,twas really hard.thank God for self-control.
    And thank u,thank u for coming on here + for the comment+for the compliments et al 😀

    Like

    • Uche u spoke my mind… Totally.
      I keep saying we need to raise men better. Let us not focus on only the girl child oooo. These men need more focus walahi.
      Anu ofias

      Like

      • And E couldn’t resist the “anu ofias”.
        Ah,it took me considerable strenght of will not to call them worse…
        Oh wait,I did call them worse in my first post I drafted,it took grace to change what I wrote to this diplomatic one.
        Indeed,Men need to be raised better and by God’s grace,ours won’t be like this at all,at all.
        Thanks ‘E’.

        Like

  3. Unfortunate. We can only pray for them because men who think so have put themselves in boxes, they have imprisoned themselves in the lies they have bought… really sad how they see their mothers, sister and wives…

    Like

  4. And E couldn’t resist the “anu ofias”.
    Ah,it took me considerable strenght of will not to call them worse…
    Oh wait,I did call them worse in my first post I drafted,it took grace to change what I wrote to this diplomatic one.
    Indeed,Men need to be raised better and by God’s grace,ours won’t be like this at all,at all.
    Thanks ‘E’.

    Like

  5. Great piece..
    So there are still men that have this shallow way of thinkn?..*its a piri*….I think mothers and to-be mothers have a great role to play in mentoring these young men, so they don’t pass on this mentality to other generations

    Ujesta.blogspot.com

    Like

  6. They still exist o,and Its a piri indeed.
    Both mothers and fathers have a huge role to play in turning sexism around.
    Kids(boys) watch their parents,not just what they say but also how they treat their wives and daughters. If fathers relegate their wives 2d background,thrz a chance the boy will too.
    It should start from the family circle. Fathers and Mothers,like E says,we have to raise better men.
    Thanks soooo much for ur comments.

    Like

  7. Yes o Uje,They still exist o,and Its a piri indeed.
    Both mothers and fathers have a huge role to play in turning sexism around.
    Kids(boys) watch their parents,not just what they say but also how they treat their wives and daughters. If fathers relegate their wives 2d background,thrz a chance the boy will too.
    It should start from the family circle. Fathers and Mothers,like E says,we have to raise better men.
    Thanks soooo much for ur comments.

    Like

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