And its December,we are almost at the end of another glorious year no less and I know this with all of my soul.
I have being a recipient of awesome testimonies from God this year and one would think that with all the blessings God bestowed on me and all mine this year I’ll be suspended in a state of gratitude right?
But no,I’ve been plagued with feelings of terrible self-doubts since last week.
I have wondered and wallowed in the thoughts that maybe,just maybe, “I aint all that after all”
Maybe those words I heard God say to me that He’s taking me places was just my mind playing tricks on me.
It hasn’t helped thata work/writing of mine was strung in the same sentence as bland/rote.
It hasn’t helped that I got a seemingly non-testimony at this near end of the year(I say seemingly,because all things worketh for my good and I believe I will share a testimony as regards this on this blog next year).
It also hasn’t helped that,for someone like me that give off vibes and live a life of positivity,belief in a glorious future,and faith in God above all circumstances,I almost have no one to talk to when I have doubts like this except God,so I have basically been stewing,steaming and wallowing in these thoughts all alone(aha,now you see that I have my moments too)…
I have had to read imperfectlyperfect92.wordpress.com/2013/09/27/am-i-enough/ on my blog more times that I care to count.
And I have had cause to ask myself these questions countless times in the past week- What do you do when you get a no,its not/you are not good enough? Slither back into a hole and forget what could have been if you try harder,or continue on the road with a resolute yes I am GREAT enough?
Frances,what do you do when the situation doesn’t turn out as planned?
When it seems like there’s no headway of ‘yes’ anywhere?
When the only light at the end of the tunnel seems like darkness itself?
What do you do?
Cower down in a bundle of shameful acceptance?
Or reply with a series of yes,it will work out,my God is still working on my behalf?
I have thought about this long and hard,and I have decided not to slither into a hole and accept defeat.
I have decided not to throw my hands up in feeble acceptance of what it seems to be.
I have decided to fight back with my jaws set hard.
I have decided to reel back series of yes,I am GREAT enough and work towards it!
I have decided to trust the voice that resounds so deep in my spirit,the voice that said-
“I predestined you Frances,you were created for a reason,molded for such a time like this,for a higher purpose than where you are right now. You are not just a simple soul drifting through earth,you are a vessel for me and at the appointed time,your light shall shine”
Now,I have worked past/I am working past these self doubts (hopefully and prayer fully) and I thought to share this for everyone out like me.
The year is gradually coming to an end,and a lot of us are taking stock of how it all went down.
There may be feelings of doubt,inadequacies and thoughts that you may never get there.
This post is for everyone who has doubts about their self,their destiny,their purpose or about that situation…
Are you going to hide behind a hole of shameful acceptance,or are going to join me with jaws set hard to reply back with series of I am enough!
I can conquer!
I trust you Lord!
I am GREAT enough!
And despite what the circumstances suggest now,You are taking me places!
Our response to these unwholesome thoughts makes all the difference.
The year may be drawing to an end,but our lives has not ended.
God still has more in store for us.
“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.-Jer 29:11”
Together,Let’s all say it and believe it.
Let our response to these doubts be a- “yes! My Life hasn’t ended yet! God has it all planned out and I’ll get there!”
Like http://www.eziaha.com proposed series for January says,we will testify!
Do not let satan steal your joy. Function in a realm of gratitude this season,and I am very certain that if you focus on your blessings,those doubts will have no place to fester in.
Compliments of the season Dearies. Please spread abroad the love of Christ. Let it shine in you and through you to all you meet.
I love you all.
PS: To my friends reading this,please no “oh,why didn’t you talk to me”…
I wrote this last week when satan was toying with my thoughts and as at right now,I can say that I am working above it all!
Greatness is in us,and it will shine forth! We will all meet at the apex of God’s purpose for our lives,Amen.