Hello dears, I hope your day’s going well?
I’ve struggled with posting/not posting this for a while but well oh well, I am just going to post it already.
A lady asked me a question recently, she was really confused about this virgin thing(team V) we have going on today. The source of the confusion stemmed from the fact that, she isn’t a virgin-at least not one in the eyes of the world.
Before answering her question, I browsed through some of my favorite articles on virginity and abstaining from sex before marriage topic and I found none referring to what she needed to hear. So let’s just use God’s word and as much honesty as we can muster to answer this.I noticed that we have more women that have never been touched on team/the ones that have never been touched are mostly the voices on the fore front for purity before marriage but you and I know that, that is not all there is to the team v thing.
We know that there are those who have been touched and prodded before. We know that there are those who have turned around underneath the sheets and HALLELUJAH, they now want to make the turnaround back to God.
The question is- “how do I make a u-turn in the aspect of sex too? I’ve tasted and felt what it is like, how do I go back to seeing it as a sin? If I stop it having premarital sex today, can I really say that I am chaste/pure/ a virgin? Does God even recognize me as such?”
Praise God for the gift of Jesus Christ and salvation, IMMEDIATELY you accepted Christ, you became a new creation. All old things (including sex you had before you became born again) have passed away and all things concerning you have become new. In fact, our beautiful father doesn’t remember the you you were before, your sins have been casted from you as far as the east is from the west and He has exchanged your blood red garments of sins for one of snow, He has exchanged your garments of sexual sin for one of purity in Him.
He has forgotten all you did including premarital sex.
The question is, have you forgotten? Can you forget?
Yes, all things have become new in your life but I will be honest with you, the process of all things becoming new sex-wise takes a while because of the addictive nature of sex, you’ll still be tempted especially if you are still with your boyfriend that doesn’t see team-v as something worthwhile but you can be sure that if you are ready,then the Holy Spirit is ready to help you make that transition too.
I know you still dabbled between the sheets with Chike afterwards, and that only made you feel terrible, didn’t it?
You’ve wept and asked God for forgiveness and asked him to help you. But your friends have said you can’t go back to no sex levels, that you are just praying for nothing, “go with the flow,sex is sweet.”
But you also know that – ” There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.” 1cor 6:16-20
And the good news is you can. You can glorify God with the purity of your body. And once you take that step to walk away from it all, you are as much as a virgin with the rest of the “untouched” in God’s eyes and that’s all that matters.
Christ’s blood has cleansed you in totality, He remembers none of your sins including ur tumblings beneath the sheets and its important that you know this too.
I won’t lie to you, it won’t be easy going back to status quo sex-wise, but I think your salvation is worth it, don’t you think so too?
2014 beckons, do you want the same circle of fall into temptation, cry, pray, fall again to go with you into 2014?
You can decide to change it all now, right now, you can decide to live above lusts of the flesh and in purity for Christ till your hubby comes.
You can decide to give God your mind and let Him conform it to the way His thinks and God will be with you every step of the way.
But oh dear, God isn’t the only one that has a role to play here, you’ve got to take some practical steps too, you’ve got stop visiting Chike in a dark room alone when you know that he will always totori you in places he knows are your weak point.
You’ve got to flee from such situations.
You’ve got to let go of those erotic videos,novels and all what nots, you’ve got to feed your mind with the food of God-His word.
What you feed your mind will be what you meditate on and what you meditate on forms the basis for what you desire.
You may also have to leave Chike if he isn’t of like mind with you and the Christ in you.
It may be hard to let go but this end of the year is a very good time to BREAK UP and LET GO of the things that trip you down and push you away from God.
And you are wondering if sex is worth breaking up over as a child of God?
See what inthe of http://www.inthemidstofher.com said about it- “In regards to whether it is worth breaking up with your boyfriend over; I am going to speak very bluntly…it is MORE than enough reason to break up with a guy. If a man ( using the term loosely here) is pestering you over sex, I strongly encourage that you do what you need to do to abstain, even if it means breaking up with him. Girlfriend, he does not love you and you should be alarmed!! Besides the guy not respecting you and your wish for holiness, what about him? Where is his head, his heart and the spirit of God within him? Is this the guy you want to hand over leadership of your life to?
The truth is he has way more bigger issues than sex at hand; he needs to go find his God.” (This is one of my fave quotes by the way, 10million loves for it)
Begin the new year on a fresh note with God.
Think of the great one that God can release to you if only you let go of the one in your hands right now – If you dare to dream it,God will bring it (Ephesians 3:20)
2014 beckons, and you can hop on the team-v wagon, we’ve established that its not just for the untouched right?
Regardless of the past, you are a brand new person in Christ and in the eyes of Him who matters, once you make the decision to flee the lusts of the flesh, to leave it all behind and follow Him, you are as chaste as can be.
Remember, this won’t be easy with your own power, but that’s what the Holy Spirit is there for. Talk to Him and make the decisions you need to make and He’ll help you.
And as for how I know you’ll be okay and this will all work out fine?
Just know that I know.
I just know.
You’ll be okay.
You can work above lusts of the flesh if you put your mind to it.
With God’s help, you can be a re-virgin.
I am rooting for you.
Team re-v for the win!
Btw,you should really,really read inthe’s post on sex before marriage,pls do. http://www.inthemidstofher.com/2013/10/dear-inthesex-before-marriage.html?m=1